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Neil Hilborn - "OCD" (Rustbelt 2013)

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Текстовые комментарии (11237)
Muzzled Hound (5 дней назад)
Damn still crying
gwendolyn : \ (6 дней назад)
goosebumps . everytime
Mia's Infinity (7 дней назад)
We watched this in Honors English class... “I leave the door unlocked. I leave the lights on.” Yeah... needless to say, we were in tears.
Marie Labedz (9 дней назад)
Over 6 years later and still just as moving
ampersand and (10 дней назад)
Should this even be considered poetry. Its 99 percent screaming.
ampersand and (7 дней назад)
Kari Allen I know but this shouldnt be called poetry. Call aggressive talking. There are slam poets that I've seen preform that are poetic in there words. I will say that some of Neil Hilborns poems are poetic in the traditional sense.
Kari Allen (7 дней назад)
Slam poetry tends to be emotional and full of vocal ranges like this
Gargee Kanhere (14 дней назад)
Fabien Cesar (17 дней назад)
damn that was powerful
Madison Rutledge (19 дней назад)
I first saw this video back in 2014. I come back to it every few months because it is and always will be my favorite poem. It’s amazing ❤️
Jasleen S (20 дней назад)
Leave:Me:In:A:Little:Log:Cabin ? (20 дней назад)
Wow. Did he make me feel his emotion. That as really flippin solid man. ❤️
Iñaki Díez Saucedo (22 дня назад)
Aud Brown (22 дня назад)
Still one of my favorite pieces. ❤️
Why (22 дня назад)
That last line
Nisar Ahmed (24 дня назад)
I seriously wish Death Over Ocd.
PAZ (25 дней назад)
Hi I would appreciate if you guys read and follow my poetry page on Instagram @pazpoetry I appreciate it it's my all 💜🌟🤗
Kaide Shea (16 дней назад)
I watched this video years ago. It was when I was much younger, when my obsessions hadn't snowballed into the abomination they've become, when I still didn't have a name for what was already starting to destroy my life, when the symptoms he described were alien, and most of all when I hadn't yet lost a relationship with someone I loved because of OCD. (I would learn later that the last item on that list wasn't even true, but in that case it still wasn't my own OCD) I watch this video now, and it has such a different context; the beauty is eclipsed by a personal bitterness that's similarly impressive for him to have evoked. I fell in love with a girl, flew across the country to live with her, and I got worse. I got much worse, though by the time I was there I'd already been getting worse for quite a long while, but regardless I got worse. She made me feel safe, and she made it all easier to deal with, but it still only ever got worse. When I had nothing to say in a moment, I had to tell her I loved her, I had to tell her she was beautiful, I had to tell her that she was the sweetest human being I ever met. I had to. She appreciated that. But when I broke down and was slamming on the floor with my vocabulary reduced to a single word that'd become my response to everything she'd say, that killed her inside to watch. I could see that killed her; I could read it so clearly on her face, and it made me spiral further. I left her. I left her because she couldn't bring herself to leave me, and because I was never going to get better where I was. She loved me, and she still loves me. I loved her, and I still love her. Not a single day goes by where I don't regret that decision, but I regret daily just about everything I've ever done; that's simply how my brain operates. The pain of losing that anchor, that escape, that perfect person who my brain couldn't convince me didn't want me around... Of course I'll regret that every day. I regretted most the moment when my brain could finally convince me that she wouldn't want to talk to me, and that she didn't care for me. So I talk to her even when my brain tells me she doesn't want to listen, and I cry about her to people I'd never feel safe crying to before. I'm not comfortable calling those victories. That's what watching this means to me today.
Anna McCrimmon (29 дней назад)
I remember seeing this for the first time in 2014 and I’ve probably watched it a countless number of times since then... and I still cry... every time.
Tim Piltz (1 месяц назад)
OCD and Oneitis, sucks to be this dude, she's just another hole mate, there's plenty of them out there.
Kayleigh Kroner (1 месяц назад)
This entire piece of poetry is so beautifully painful to hear.. but i understand how he feels. Not exactly, but in a sense. My ex used to crawl through my window at night to greet me and now that hes gone i legitimately leave the window unlocked and when i saw this video i realized that this is the exact pain i feel without the mental illness of OCD. It sucks and im probably making no sense but man, this slam poetry speaks fucking volumes man.
Antonio Novoa Zuñiga (1 месяц назад)
Angélica te amo con todo el corazón 😍
hajer Alhenaid (1 месяц назад)
Bashair Hornsby (1 месяц назад)
still crying in 2019
Lavender Violet (1 месяц назад)
life-changing poem for me
Cinny (1 месяц назад)
Maybe this doesn't mean the same amount to everyone else as it does to me, but I found this not long after my dog Jake passed away. He used to try to get into my room all the time but he'd steal things from it like a shoe or something so I'd just leave the door closed even when I was in it. I'd open it at night so he could sleep on my bed. The line "I want her back so bad I leave the door unlocked" hit me so hard because even though it's been nearly two years, I haven't closed my door once. I've been hoping that I'd see it get shoved open all the way without an explanation and know he was still there.
Chronicle Cloud (1 месяц назад)
angharad. (1 месяц назад)
My favourite
BrokenAngel5815 (1 месяц назад)
I've wondered many many times if he was ever able to move on or even just find his way to stop the pain and find some peace...
#shariah #isme (1 месяц назад)
I just got broken up with and... I can’t stop thinking about him
Asma Tariq (1 месяц назад)
Lilika Achumi (1 месяц назад)
Awesome 👍👍
Emma (1 месяц назад)
Beyond powerful
Lauren's Life (1 месяц назад)
I do things that would be considered OCD and I’m worried that when I get older I’m actually going to have full on OCD. Honestly I hate having the compulsives to do something over and over again.
Ziro (1 месяц назад)
Chandra Traxler (1 месяц назад)
I've loved this poem for years and I'm going to try and create a short film based off of it that does it justice.
zoie lawver (2 месяца назад)
It's scary to know that the reasons people fall in love with you, can be the same reasons they fall out of love with you.
francesko beqiri (2 месяца назад)
this is so powerful!!
MARAMA TOA (2 месяца назад)
No joke I'm crying right now how faint hearted am i
Μανώλης Γεωργόπουλος (2 месяца назад)
God damn love is an addictive drug.
dowsaaa (2 месяца назад)
first time i watched this was when i was 14, thought it was great but didn't truly understand it. im watching this now and oh my god my heart hurts this is poetry
Precious o (2 месяца назад)
I was bored and decided to look at some poetry and I am in tears. The stir of emotions is breathtaking. I like poetry now.
Calypso Oblivion (2 месяца назад)
This is by far my favorite poem. Anyone interested in poetry should definitely check out my most recent video. I am new to this but I would really appreciate the view and please comment your feelings. I hope whoever reads this checks it out. Please do and thank you.
Jessica Belcher (2 месяца назад)
Lady Dyke Vader (2 месяца назад)
I get that. My ex made me and my illness seem like a perfect piece of our puzzle... and every time since she left I compare everyone to her and think they aren't good enough because she was what made me whole more than my rituals and breath exercises ever could.
Gilad Zinman (2 месяца назад)
Ever watched a poem so good you clap when it’s over even though you’re alone?
Алексей Романов (2 месяца назад)
"i leave the door unlocked, i leave the lights on" every time im crying like a little girl. so powerful
AngelKayla 2021 (2 месяца назад)
If anybody can help me please do.. I have been looking for a video where 2 guys do a poem on phobias and its kind of hard to find it..
Savanna Purmørt (2 месяца назад)
I have OCD and this is amazing
Lum Nann Tang Bau (2 месяца назад)
I never liked poetry. You are something and you are amazing. 💓
iTz HAZEN` (2 месяца назад)
I always find myself coming back to this
Ken Nepas (2 месяца назад)
the last two lines "I leave the door unlocked, I leave the lights on" hit me like a truck
Erika Nicholas (2 месяца назад)
This poem inspired a book entitled "Some Sort of Happy". I don't have, nor do I know anyone with OCD, but the poem and the book gave me a greater understanding of the condition. My heart goes out to those people and those who love them!
ella bella (2 месяца назад)
ZMEJKA (2 месяца назад)
Lovely performance!!!!
Alexis Hinshaw (2 месяца назад)
Alren Gem Gay Neri (2 месяца назад)
I think that's the most painful part about having mental health issues, the people you thought understood eventually leave because they can no longer take it.
valar (13 дней назад)
Yes. I get it.
Alren Gem Gay Neri (13 дней назад)
+valar you really cant be mad at them for thinking that it's too much.
valar (13 дней назад)
They do understand, it's just too much.
Sofia Hamouche (2 месяца назад)
It has been a few years since I first saw this and this was the first time that I didn’t cry and ball my eyes out for this... I’ve come a long way haha! Honestly I just really love this poem. I can’t describe how amazing it is.
skin19head69 (2 месяца назад)
Fuckin killed it man. Keep your chin up. Chin up. Chin up. Chin up buddy.
Justin Owens (2 месяца назад)
“How could it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touch her?!”
Schrödinger's Cat (2 месяца назад)
Call me cynical, but I'm not touched. No one is entitleted to love. You have it? Good for you. You don't? Shit happens, mate. It's just a feeling, if you wait long enough it fades away.
Natalie Vargas (2 месяца назад)
I would like to thank this video for being fucking amazing
Shripad Ghuge (2 месяца назад)
*Chills *Literal chills down my spine*
Al Scott (2 месяца назад)
"She" = class A substance
Israel Brenton (2 месяца назад)
Oof, the goosebumps are real
Sky Surfer (2 месяца назад)
She was the most beautiful thing I ever got stuck on
Mines OF Tech (2 месяца назад)
What Was That ?
Empyrean (2 месяца назад)
I never stop getting chills everytime I watch this.
Samer Mohamed (2 месяца назад)
Okay, the thumbnail makes me think of Hitler. All jokes aside though, I really loved this poem, I always get goosebumps when I listen to it.
Al Furquan (2 месяца назад)
this has to be the best poem recitation ever.
Andy Guilicaña (2 месяца назад)
I watch this everytime my girlfriend and i fight i dont want to lose her
Daniel GetsYouMad (3 месяца назад)
OCD is so much more than ‘having things neat’. It’s so upsetting when someone asks me about it and that’s all they believe it is. It’s awful but it’s irreparable; no amount of medicine will fix it permanently. It makes me more comfortable with myself to see a poem that voices the true effects and gives examples as to how OCD really is. I love it.
Neon_Robo (3 месяца назад)
As a woman who loves a man who has OCD this hits all the feels. Thank you Neil
Thry Nathou (3 месяца назад)
This speech si the best speech ever this speech is really touching
Mochi (3 месяца назад)
shit i have goosebumps
Lia Mellark (3 месяца назад)
It’s so beautiful and moving.... Everything he said was so poetic... I’m sad for him...
romi minguet (3 месяца назад)
Waow magnifique
Miguel Almendra (3 месяца назад)
😭😭 Omg 💔 u are brave man
Eleanor Guseva (3 месяца назад)
Ysla Erina Rose (3 месяца назад)
i come back to this every time and it hurts just the same. maybe even more because of experiences i gathered along the way
Ilos (3 месяца назад)
I cry. Fuck
Matthew Howard (3 месяца назад)
"When you have obsessive compulsive disorder you don't really ever get quite moments"...that part...why don't you want to go out, why don't you have energy, you slept enough...there's no way to tell people there's times you feel prisoner in your own bathroom because you're stuck trying to wash your hands, and how absolutely over you are because you know this behavior makes no sense but you've done it this way and nothing terrible has happened so you can't stop doing it this way...I quit drinking over four years ago...for me Alcoholism didn't have shit on OCD...everyone talks about how drugs and alcohol effect the families of loved ones who suffer from the disease, no one really ever talks about the stress OCD puts on it, it astounds me that with all of our technology, all the resources, and all that science has taught us, how archaic the general view of mental health in the USA is...it may not be the lobatomies, shock treatments, and insainasylums of the past, but definitely not where it should be, I think the suicide and crime starts are plenty evident of that. Thank you to people like Neil for helping to dispel the stigma, we need more like him if we are to move forward in this arena.
kushang rai (3 месяца назад)
ahhhh... the heart.
Briana Padilla (3 месяца назад)
"Now I just think about who else is kissing her. I can't breathe because he only kisses her once. He doesn't care if it's perfect."  Someone pick me up off the floor please.
Grace __ (3 месяца назад)
I've tried in my way to be free (3 месяца назад)
And this is the best thing I ever got stuck on.
Wrath (3 месяца назад)
OCD is the worst
Tesa AM (3 месяца назад)
I've seen someone take a bit of this clip and do it for a monologue, I cried
Stephane Siwas (3 месяца назад)
I know that broo :( Keep standing :)
dogs forever (3 месяца назад)
This is so depressing And she was the first beautiful thing that I ever got stuck on. That line hits like a dagger to the heart
Elmer Cuenca (3 месяца назад)
2019, still my favorite piece of Neil
Joseph Rose (3 месяца назад)
You're not crying! I am!
Mia Andrea (3 месяца назад)
This always gives me the chills
Jennifer Wareham (3 месяца назад)
As someone who is in a relationship with someone who suffers from OCD I sympathize with “her.” Being with someone with OCD comes a long with a lot of heartache and yet that pain is never really acknowledged because the other person is mentally il and can’t help it. The guilt she must felt making that final decision to leave must have been crippling.
J Carver (3 месяца назад)
Damn it, I should be asleep right now. But no, I heard segments of this when I was listening to a chillstep track. So I had to find it. Then I had to read a few comments, but after nearly 50, I was finally able to stop and move on to writing my own. Seeing him perform it was powerful. But listening to him with this kind of music...it digs deeply into my soul, then tries to rip it out.
Aimee Mahoney (3 месяца назад)
I always remember this poem because at the beginning she found reasons to love all the unusual things about him, it's just sad when the reality hit and she got fed up.
Sage T. (3 месяца назад)
This one never fails to get me in my feelings
Wolfy (3 месяца назад)
I listen to this once a week at least I cry everytime i watch this
agizzy23 (3 месяца назад)
I did this as a monologue for my last semester at college. I had gone through a breakup several months prior. I have complex-PTSD and hearing how other people with mental illnesses struggle with these kinds of things makes me feel like I’m not alone.
Blade Mimic (3 месяца назад)
Im in the same boat it feels, i have manic depression, i fly off the handle.... She says its okay and she loves me... But man i dont wanna ruin,this like i have everything else. Bless this man.
Chris F T P (4 месяца назад)
Holy shit! That was amazing.
skylar hates lima beans (4 месяца назад)
when i was 13, i went to a mental hospital, one of the biggest issues i had going on mentally at that time being ocd, but i hadnt been diagnosed yet. while i was waiting for a spot to open up in the ward, i was on a different floor of the hospital and my nurse that stayed with me at all times gave me his book with this poem in it because it reminded her of me and how i handled things. i completely forgot i had it and that that happened until i came across this video
''I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars... And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.'' I was looking for that explanation for over a decade. Most impressive

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